Of course, I have a list.
The man I’m looking for will always be brave and kind, and will love the trees.
He will make me smile. Not just any smile, but one of those silly, giddy, child-like ear to ear smiles, the kind you get as an adult only from being head in the clouds, madly crushed out on someone.
His actions will match his words. Because I’ve come to realise that talk is easy, and extremely cheap.
He won’t say things he does not mean. He will always be honest with me, even when it might bruise me.
It will be the little things he does that make me want him. Like opening doors for me, and unexpectedly brushing an eyelash from my cheek. Speaking kindly to the homeless guy in the street, and instinctively putting his arm out in front of me if he thinks I’m about to cross the road too soon.
It will always be in the little things. Because they add up, slowly piece together, and they become the big things
I’ll want to know everything about him, and he’ll want to know everything about me. Like what my favourite book of all time is, and why. But he won’t stop there. No. He’ll want to read it, because he wants to know the words that inspire me; and what truly speaks to my soul.
He will love me for more than just the pretty face and hot body that all the other guys see, and I’ll love him like that too, because we’re both patently aware that we won’t always look this way. I’m hoping on all hopes that he finds my looks to be the least beautiful thing about me.
He will love me for all of my quirks that I try to cover, or don’t even realise exist. The things I do when I think no one is watching, but of course, he will be. He’ll notice. He will notice all of me. Even the sides that I am yet to discover myself.
The man I’m looking for may be rich or he may be poor. I don’t know yet. But I won’t want or expect grand material gestures from him. No. I want the money of his soul. I would pick his emotional currency over and over and over again. Chocolates and flowers are lovely, but they don’t last long.
But your words and heartbeats on a piece of paper… I’ll treasure those forever.
The man I’m looking for will be generous, with his advice and support, his time, and his love and affection. I won’t need to ask for it, he will just know that it’s what I need in that moment. After a helluva day, he’ll be there at home waiting to greet me with the world’s best cuddle and a big jar of Nutella.
He will not be scared to commit himself to me wholly, and to let the world know that he has done so.
He won’t want to ever hide it. He’ll want his family, his friends, and the whole universe to see and know just how cosmic his adoration is.
He will trust me, and I will trust him. Because, you either choose to trust someone, or you don’t. And after I have decided to trust him, I will continue to do so for every single day after that one.
The man I’m looking for will be loyal, to a fault. He will always have my back, and I will have his. We will be united and stand as one team, and nothing will come between the one of a kind partnership we have spent time building up together.
I know that love isn’t perfect. And that none of us are perfect. We will find the person who is perfect to us, but they will not be without their many flaws. I hand on heart disagree with those who say we should not have a list. I’m not willing to settle when it comes to love. And I don’t think you should either.
I won’t ever stop waiting for this man
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