Have you ever fallen in love with a girl only to find that you’re more
lost and confused than ever? Gasp! Is she using you? Find out with these
signs. She may seem charming and cute. She may even be flirty and just
the perfect girl you’ve been waiting for. But is this new relationship
leaving you confused and low on confidence?
She tells you she loves you, but the way she behaves seems otherwise. Is she using you?
Every now and then, you may meet a girl who seems to fit snugly into the dream definition of a perfect girlfriend.
But if you ever feel a flicker of confusion in those first few weeks,
chances are, she’s using you or she’s just put you on her waiting list
until she makes up her mind.
Is she using you? – The signs
It’s frustrating to realize that you’re being used, even when you’re trying to be a great boyfriend or a sex buddy.
She may try to convince you that she truly loves you and wants to be
with you, but five minutes later, her behavior may change and she may
just act friendly all over again.
Ever been there? Read these signs to find out if she’s using you.
#1 She wants her space… a lot!
Are you dating a girl who clings to you for a few days, and then
completely ignores you for the next few days? While playing hard to get
may excite a guy, this is pushing the game too far.
Every time she ignores you or pushes you away, you may find yourself
falling more madly in love with her. On the other hand, she’s probably
interested in a few other guys or sleeping with them, just to work out
her options. When a girl claims to love a guy, and yet avoids the guy
completely for a few days every now and then, there’s a good chance
there’s another guy in her life.
#2 Behaves like a friend
Does your new girlfriend behave like a friend now and then? She hugs you
and cuddles you, and then pushes you away and tells you it’s all
happening too fast and she’s not ready for it?
Ouch, any girl who behaves like a girlfriend but prefers to stay friends
is obviously using your love and affection to feel better about
herself.
#3 Her friends don’t know you
When a girl uses you, there’s a good chance you’re never going to meet
any of her friends. But if you both do bump into a good friend of hers,
does her friend even realize who you are?
And if you see her with a group of her friends and not one person
recognizes your name, you’re in serious trouble of being played into a
game of I’ll-suck-the-life-outta-you.
#4 You’re not introduced as a boyfriend
This is a no brainer here. But it’s something most guys in love almost
always forgive and forget. Have you ever been introduced as just a
friend? If she’s convinced that you’re the man in her life, she’d
proudly display you like a primped up puppy in a dog show. But if she’s
just using you, there’s a very good chance that you relationship status
will remain as friends.
#5 She’s confused about your relationship status
Now she may be genuinely confused about the kind of relationship both of
you share, especially if she’s just broken up with her guy or is still
in a relationship with some other guy. But the point is she’s confused.
If she truly does love you, there’s nothing to be confused about unless
she’s still in love with another guy. If that’s the case, you’re not the
winner here. You’re the scapegoat filling up the blanks when her
boyfriend or another guy doesn’t have the time for her.
#6 She talks about her complicated love life
Do you spend more time consoling her or telling her how the mistakes in
her life aren’t really her fault? Girls who end up using guys are
confused women who want to be reassured and loved all the time. She may
be losing the love of her own guy, and may want you to reassure her
about her own relationship and fill her life with happiness and
extravagant gifts.
And yes, she wouldn’t mind cuddling up with you once in a while for all
the nice things you’ve been doing for her. This is seriously messed up!
#7 She makes out but only when she wants to
You may sweet talk her and take her out to expensive dinners, all in the
hope of getting some love and appreciation back from her. And of
course, a little bit of making out too.
But if you’re in love with a girl who’s using you, nothing really
matters. She’d let you dance on hot coals almost all the time and make
out with you only when she feels like it. She initiates it and she ends
it, at her whims.
Her excuse: I’m still confused about my feelings for you/for my own boyfriend/the three other guys in my life.
#8 She dominates the relationship
Does she call you up whenever she feels like it, or asks you to meet her
at her whims and fancies? A girl who throws her weight around a guy
knows she’s already got him wrapped around her little finger. Don’t ever
be that guy. You’d end up shattered almost all the time and you’d lose
all the confidence you have.
Turn the table around and throw her around a bit. Two things can happen
here. She’d take you more seriously, or she’s walk out of your life.
Either ways, it’s a good thing for you.
#9 She wants you to listen, but not the other way around
Are you in love with a girl who loves talking about her own life and her
little problems? Does she tell you about how bad her ex boyfriend was
and why she had to cheat on him just to show him she has other options?
Or does she confess to you about making out with a few other guys and
wants you to tell her she’s not wrong and that she did the right thing?
And on the other hand, every time you try telling something to her, does she forget all about it or feign drowsiness?
A girl who only wants to talk and feel good about herself isn’t in love
with you. She’s using you as a priest to feel good about her own
shortcomings. If she did love you, she’d be more interested to know
about you and your life than whining about her own guilty confessions.
#10 She’s in another relationship
Almost always, relationships where the guy is being used starts off with
conversations about complicated love lives. The girl you like may
already be in a relationship, and with each conversation you have, both
of you may fall more in love with each other. She wants to go out with
you, she loves to talk to you, and she can’t wait to spend time and make
out with you.
But she doesn’t want to leave her own boyfriend or end her relationship
with him. She tells you she’s not happy, but she doesn’t do a thing
about it.
If you find yourself experiencing any of these signs that you’re being
used, you better walk out of the confusing affair before you end up with
a broken heart. After all, she’s probably got a few backups with whom
she’s playing the same game anyways.
She may not do this intentionally just to hurt you, it’s just that she’s
a selfish little cutie who cares more about her own happiness than
anything else in the world.
Is she using you?
So what do you do about it now that you know she’s using you?
You have two options.
Walk out of her relationship drama before you get hurt.
Lose the love and just start using her back. With any luck, by removing
love out of the equation, there’s a good chance you’ll behave more like a
bad boy instead of a lost puppy and make her desire you a lot more!
It’s easy for a girl to use a guy because both sexes are used to
the ritual of a guy pursuing the girl. Sometimes, she may reciprocate
and fall in love. At other times, she may just end up using you. So what
do you think, is she using you?
-Lovepanky
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